Sunday, February 26, 2006

Panda

My 5 little monkeys have turned into Pandas... they must have, because it was Panda-monium on Friday!


Friday drinks were good. Learnt more about the internal (infernal?) politics and workings of the primary school and made some new friends. I have some interesting facial expressions to watch out for in the two across the hall. Until now I hadn't found a decent pseudonym for them, at drinks I found they are often called the Princesses of Darkness or DNA... Are you thinking what I'm thinking? With their habit of dressing the same frequently I decided they will hence forth be known as B1 & B2 – that's far more in keeping with primary and I haven't noticed anything negative about them apart from their tendency towards seriousness... Ok, that should, perhaps, be a crime, but I need them a lot more than they need me... I find it sad though that every time I attempt to stir (one of my favourite pastimes) it falls completely flat. I may even give up... if I can stop myself! But I have found some places where the stir will be appreciated. Unfortunately, some of my co workers have found out that I can laugh 'til I snort and worked out a very good way of making it happen. I smile even thinking about it... next week will be interesting as I'm sure their aim will be to make me laugh at inappropriate times... and it will happen!


Friday we had a family fun afternoon. I finally met Cinderella's mum who is so hugely pregnant that her front looks kind of lumpy. It was really weird but I tried not to look. Cinderella won her race coz she can actually run! Everyone got a prize though. It was really hot and uncomfortable in the hall and it is still hard to get my new parents to separate from their kids. Gave Goldilock's family a copy of a photo I took of her on the computer. She is still and her hands aren't in her ears. They were thrilled to get such a good picture. The trick is turning the flash and the sound off on the camera and sneaking up on her...


School photo's on Wednesday... Eeek! What will I wear?


Friday was actually better than last week which was nice... and a lot better than Thursday!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

*Sigh*

I'm still tired and stressed.

Not about anything in particular either.

Drinking a pint of vodka, lemon lime and bitters and eating blue cheese on crackers.


By lunchtime, when my preps went home early for the last time, I was feeling very defeated. Despite great support and the rest of the day on APT I still feel quite that way. 2 of my kids are badly behaved in a way that has nothing to do with their disabilities. It makes it really hard to get anything done, the others miss out on attention and help and they frustrate the hell out of everyone. Not to mention my 2 pain in the butt parents (although one is better than the other).


Cheese gone.


I am also very tired. When I went into the staffroom to have my lunch before yard duty, I must have looked a bit the worse for wear. I said a little about ,my morning and when I sat down one of the other newish teachers (she had taught here before but was employed this year as the music teacher) moved to sit next to me and ask if I needed to talk about it. I shared my frustrations and got lots of support and a hug. I really need advice from people who have raised a pack of brats themselves about how to deal with behaviour that isn't appropriate whether you are disabled or not. It was nice that the specialists who only see my kids once a week said that they have already noticed improvements. I guess its hard when you see them every day to see the little stuff. Yeah, one may be sitting attentively (strangely at this school they call it attending – i.e. she attended well for at least 15 minutes – in my dreams!) for a little longer and she came up to me and said hello this morning, but... by hitting me! Swings and roundabouts, I guess.


At our computer session today the IT guy reckoned it could be September when everything starts to fall into place... I have to admit I was a little horrified. I am impatient I want them ALL to behave like civilised little people right now!


Drink gone... another?


Left at a reasonable time today and had a quick chat about similar things to one of the APs. She also thought I looked tired but thought it was good that I was still smiling. It would be good if she comes to play in my room and has a look at the class dynamics... I'll also see if I can have one of the wiser prep teachers across the hall come and see my little monkeys.


I just have to look at it as small changes leading to big stuff. I feel bad that I worked out that if one of my kids is lying on the floor coz she doesn't want to do what you want her to do... that she will get up and follow you if you hold a ball out in front of her... I feel like I am treating her like a puppy... At lunch people thought that was a good break though and if I can make the ball smaller and smaller 'til you just tell her to get up and come, then it is a great start to have found a motivator for her... I feel that they have a good point but it still feels a bit wrong when I do it. With my naughty 2 it is a definite battle of wills, which I guess I would have had with teenagers if I'd been teaching them too. I need to pick and choose my battles so they can win some but I win the important ones (another bit of received wisdom) but I don't know that I have the experience to decide which is which.

Meetings can have weird groups dynamics. It's hard not to laugh, sometimes I don't even try not to.

I am so looking forward to going to the footy on the weekend. I will have a good yell! It is on late Sunday arvo, I will probably have not so much voice left for Monday. I guess at least with only 5 kids I never have to yell or really raise my voice – that's nice I suppose...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

So many...


Am tired and finding it hard to think right now. Left work really late coz I was helping another teacher with some computer stuff. I don't mind helping someone learn stuff I can do because there are plenty of things I can't do that I will need advice and help with in the future. The school has some different programs to what I generally use so I learnt some new things too. Have to chase the IT guy tomorrow about an email I got sent today about getting a Department of Ed lap top in the next round. Can't get access to the website I need to sign up on (by 5pm tomorrow) from any computer I try. Neither at home or at school – on two different operating systems... tomorrow...


Had a good morning with the kids but Snow White's mum is still a pain. The head of junior school is getting on her case now, which is a relief to me. I need to maintain a good relationship with her but can't teach and tell her to rack off tactfully as well. SW was better today anyhow, and working a bit with the speechies was great as SW seems so much more confident when she has compics to point at. She will try harder to communicate. The pics from kinder are a bit random so we'll work at school on developing an effective communication method... I think she'll be much happier then.


Got some time off this arvo when my 'older' two went for an extra swim. I went down to watch for a bit and chat to the teacher who swam with Little Red Ridinghood last year and see what needs doing. Cinderella had some goggles for the first time and it made a great difference. I heard that all sorts of great improvements happened after I dragged my feet out of the pool and went back to do some work. So no more mucking about on Mondays! All laps and hard work for my little monkey from now on! Except for when we do a big bomb into the pool for a start...


I got a fridge in my room today! A bar fridge but unfortunately not ready stocked...


I need to get program folders up and running soon and a CRT folder and tidy my office space that looks like a paper explosion, and have a look at what I'll need to do for reports for my 'oldies'...


...disconnected thoughts...




Compic: Communication Pictures

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Big Tuesday

Went to a PSG at Snow White's integration primary school today. The school is great and her teachers are great, mum has issues, many issues. She is so negative she is bringing me down. Her take on everything is bad. She won't listen. Her kid is fine, especially when she is not around, but she wants to see everything that we do... It's not helping her kid any. It's getting hard to be polite. The other school are very firm, I guess they are used to her as her other daughter goes there, but it doesn't help us much yet... maybe it will in the end. The teachers from her school are going to come and visit us and see what we are doing in a couple of weeks. That will be good. I got to know one of the APs better on the car trip so that was good. I think I may have said too much, but I keep having that feeling...


At least I know my other two kids love me. Cinderella is being very affectionate now and ran to me after library saying she's missed me (coz I'd been away at the PSG for the morning) and Little Red Ridinghood always seems excited to see me. It will be good when I have the preps all day and get to know them a bit better. I don't need universal adoration but I have to spend all year with these kids, I want them to like me.


I have discovered that having only five kids to wrangle means that documentation and reporting is huge! And with the new system the government, in all it's wisdom is bringing in, it is apparently quite daunting for most staff. The wiser prep teachers across the hall said they'd help me after school one day and they reckon we could knock over the two older kids reports in an arvo. I like the sound of that. The preps are on a different time frame which is good. I really need to look into this paperwork stuff I am avoiding....


What else today... ummm more indoctrination induction after school, learnt how to put LRR in her standing frame, now just have to work it into the schedule... didn't do any direct teaching today and missed my rug rats, behaved in a silly fashion during yard duty – got one kid so excited she threw up! Oops! Prior to that had been being silly at lunch with my 2 non preps. They love it! My babysitting teacher who had my kids this morning said that things were a bit more serious last year across the hall, so the kids are having a bit of a new experience in teacher style... hehehe.


ok. need to do some cutting out and watch the last ten minutes of the OC. I should have been doing that all the way through. and this later... next week. If I remember it's on......

Monday, February 20, 2006

Mondays are too big for my poor brain

Had a great time at swimming today with LRR and got some great feedback from one of the swimming helpers. She asked how long I had been teaching and she was surprised when I said 3 weeks and 1 day. She reckons I have a really good relationship with the kids and some teachers who have taught for years still aren't that way with the kids. Warm fuzzies! I just love working with my kids. They frustrate me and annoy me sometimes but who doesn't! Someone asked me where I had taught before the other day – or was that today, Monday is a big day – people seem to think I am fitting in well (which is nice) and seem to know what I am doing (doing a good job of faking it, apparently).


Snow White was back to day as was her clingy mum. Thankfully, she got a talking to from the head of primary and the other prep teacher and they told her she's just have to be brave and leave her at the door and get the office staff to take Snow White down to class. Tomorrow I have a meeting at her integration primary school, which her mum will be at, so her dad will take her to school, wish I could be in 2 places at once and see how she is with him.


Currently on high rotation in the CD player: 'A-Z of Kids songs' from the ABC... and I actually like some of them. I don't understand the 'Quartermaster's Store', but I like it. Cranking it up for 'Rockin' Robin'!


Strange as it may seem, I am a bit intimidated by the principal. She seems really nice, but she scares me just a little... Make of that what you will.


The eternal debate occurred again after swimming before school. What do you do about crap teachers in the system? I changed sides today and tried out some other arguments... There is no answer and I feel somewhat uncomfortable with the question when I can see how far away I am from how I want to be as a teacher. My swimming mate and the head of primary school went to a PD about mentoring last week and it seems she made a bit of a stir when she asked the question about what to do when at the end of the year she doesn't want to tick the no worries or the needs more time box, she wants a perhaps you should consider a different career box!


One of the teachers in primary school who I thought was going bitter when I first met her is actually very funny and great to ask questions of. I am getting to know the other two 'new to primary' teachers. They are very welcoming of questions and make me laugh. Perhaps it's bitter humour... or wry observation... or too much like the truth that if you didn't laugh you'd cry...


A thought from last week... where are my kids really at? Spent some time one on one with LRR and discovered she's not really as advanced as I thought she was. She talks the talk, but when you actually get her to do something for you... one of the physios agreed. He had a cool technical name for it but I forgot it immediately... I started thinking that if she's not where I thought she was, where are the others? With Goldilocks her eyesight is an interesting question. We don't really know yet how much she can see, how much of 'I want to see it closer' is genuine not another (I want my jacket off, shoes off, to look in the mirror, go outside, go for a walk, go to the toilet, a hug...) avoidance tactic. But she'll come out with some correct answers when you least expect it. It will be nice when Snow White settle in. She is a gem. An adorable child who is quite with it but timid and has a lot of difficulty communicating. Hope fully we'll get an idea of where she's at when she settles in a bit more.


Sleeping Beauty had a nap at her desk today. She's another one you wonder where she's at. She understands a lot of what's going on in general but isn't interested most of the time in what's on offer educationally. I guess that's up to me to fix.


I nearly fell asleep in the staff meeting this arvo.


I broke my window winder. If I'd known where some plyers were I could of done it myself but it was good to see the principal in action. I like women who can do stuff for themselves. The AP I like best wants to come play in my room and meet my kids. I'm told she tells good stories but I'd rather she didn't make LRR scream again... She says she doesn't like wussy kids.... I think I'll see if she'll come on Friday... that would be handy...


Darling, it's better, down where it's wetter.

U – Under the Sea

Friday, February 17, 2006

Eureka!

I found the Friday after school drinking crew! It is so nice to wind down, debrief, whinge and get school out of your system before the weekend. It's also good to meet people you may be able to be friends with, but you don't work directly with.


I was telling one of the blokes about my theory of eyes and ears open, mouth shut and he reckons eventually when you hear all the different sides of what goes on in the place it doesn't seem like black and white any more just varying shades of grey.


Interesting observation from the senior school is that students there behave badly towards staff who treat them as if they don't have a brain. It's clear despite their disability that they know what's going on, but it's fully 'able' people who can't see or understand it.


I don't like Friday's at school. It's too hard. I have no specialists in or APT. My kids are a lot to handle at the moment and I don't have enough help on Friday with one of my SSOs off work with a broken pelvis! Maybe when my newies have settled in it will be easier and I wont feel like I'm short changing the well behaved students. I think that happens in all classes though – the squeeky wheel gets the oil.


First school assembly today. It was terrible. Embarrassing. Nice to meet some new kids though. I only had to take 2 kids but it turns out that last year Little Red Ridinghood had a screming fit at just about every assembly. Too many loud noises. However, the lovely librarian is very skilled at settling her down. I took LRR to a different spot when the first one started and was trying to calm her when I was rescued and she was right in less than a minute. The second time it started the lovely librarian just came and took her away... and then wizzed her around for a bit which worked wonders. After than when I suspected there might be a loud noise I helped her to cover her ears! It is something I will keep in mind for next time.


High schools are all about photocopying. This school is all about laminating.


SSO: School Support Officer. Usually these are office staff but here it covers office staff, program workers, helpers etc...

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Thursday, Week 3, Day 14

Primary meeting this morning was made very much better by the apple crumble that one of the other teachers brought in. It was great! It may have been the sugar that made me agree to be the primary school rep on the social committee. It didn't sound too hard, no one else was keen, and events are something I can handle both ideas and organisation wise so I shouldn't feel too out of my depth. I think there are worse ways of getting involved in the school community.


Had my first team meeting this arvo, I went ok. My physio and OT are really nice to work with, it feels like we are all trying to do the same thing. Heading in the same direction is a great feeling, even if none of us are exactly sure what we are doing yet (this is mainly because the preps are so new to us and to school). I think having a supportive team takes some of the pressure off me and means I don't have to be a stand alone teacher – just me in the classroom type thing.


My Snow White was away again and the wiser teachers across the hall recommended that I give mum a call and see how she is going. Just to keep in touch at this early stage and let the kid know we miss her... It was the right thing to do, mum was very appreciative and kid had given the cold to dad – a sweet and sharing lass! She is well enough to go to her integration school tomorrow though. I have to go to a meeting there on Tuesday and I will have seen her for a total of 9/12 days only 6 without her mum present. It's not a lot to go on and I don't know what will happen at this meeting.


We had further discipline issues today with Goldilocks and may have to have a time out or naughty chair. We will present decisions differently and have consequences. I spoke to mum briefly at 12 and they don't have any particular way of responding to her 'strong willed' nature but are happy for us to give different things a try. As much as I feel I am neglecting my better behaved kids to deal with this we need to get on top of things in a firm and consistent way now. It will drive me mental otherwise!


I am getting better at the words and actions to 5 little monkeys and More little monkeys (6 to 10). It is my release valve. If I have to fill for a bit or need to get a different attitude happening we either read or put the music on. It makes me feel better as sometimes they are very very easy to imagine as 5 little monkeys going bananas!


From reading other teaching blogs, I suspect that the feeling that I could always be doing more is going to be a keeper! This will be one of the great learning experiences of teaching. How to pull back whilst staying enthused. Being a good teacher without burning out. A blog alone will not keep me sane..............

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wednesday = Hump day

Am starting to notice politics about the place. Eyes and ears open and mouth shut (...if I can remember that last bit).


Am getting a lot of positive feedback about how I am going. It helps that the last teacher in my room was apparently crap (and even said out loud that she considered that all she was doing was babysitting). It also helps with that feeling that I'm not where I want to be as a teacher. That will take time but I am ever impatient.


I have some classroom/student management issues. Including a mother who's not keen on the word no and a student who is very loud, uncooperative and disruptive. I feel a bit out of my depth with behavioural management of small children. I will try a few things and ask around for suggestions.


My student with the clingy mum hasn't been to school at all this week. It will be hard for her to come back and harder for the mum, perhaps. She has had a head cold – the sniffles or really sick? We shouldn't make judgements. I have this strange lingering feeling that I won't see her again. But the kid has to go somewhere and from the sounds of it the primary school she is having an integration day at are keen for her to be with us for a while. We'll see.


My lesson planning keeps going wrong. Their attention span is so short but it takes so long to get anything started. I'll get a balance eventually, I hope. It's just frustrating.


Got chairs with boards for my two tippers and they seem to work quite well. The aim is not to need to tie them in, one day, in the future (in a galaxy far far away...).


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Grown up? What, me???

Just a quick post as I'm off to give blood. The only thing my heart is involved in this St Valentines day!


Today was pretty good. Arrived early, got stuff done. Only had 3 kids As Sleeping Beauty had a Drs appointment and -let's call her- Snow White who was away yesterday too has a head cold. The two who are with me all day are getting used to me now, I need to start putting some ground rules down about what my limits are I guess... otherwise we can just find out kind of organically, I guess.


Had just me and and aide in the morning and we did some games, singing 5 Little Monkeys and reading the book and some counting (and singing...) with the apples on our tree [except the song is the same tune as 10 green bottles, so we kept singing wall instead of tree!]. Middle session I had time off for good behaviour and they went to Music and Library! After lunch (-:yard duty is still fun:-), We had physical program with another class. We set up a course up, over, through soft big obstacles, along a beam, up and down stairs and some throwing and catching too. It was great to work one on one with a student as you really get to see their improvement. And whilst this was happening the physio got me some chairs with boards on the bottom to try tomorrow!


Could not convince Cinderella that I was just a big kid. “No. You're a grown up!” {sigh} I guess it's official then...


Had some induction thing today after school. It was ok, got to ask questions, found out stuff.


Kept seeing the principal out of the corner of my eye today, she seemed to be everywhere I was going past. Odd.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Monday: Week 3

Monday. It's hard to find much to say because there is so much I feel I need to be doing... So I have done some of it already.


I came home earlier than I probably would have because the computer in my room is crap and old and I haven't got my grubby mitts on department of education laptop (with the wireless internet through the school) yet. The computer didn't have a clue what to do with my memory stick, so I figured it would be better just to come and do stuff at home where it will also be easier to download pictures I took of the kids today and just burn it all on to a disk to take in tomorrow.


And I have cutting out to do!


Today was fine. Slightly chaotic as usual. Sleeping Beauty was very alert and talkative (in her own way) today. She knows what's going on but is just not interested in it. We are still working on the games you like - we do not think they are funny... No chucking stuff on the floor. No hitting other kids. No grabbing glasses. And if you want to sulk about it, that's fine. Student management! Little Red Ridinghood chucked a 'nana at me after swimming, we'd had fun, although I found she is a lot more distracted with her good mate Cinderella around. Not happy with something whilst we were getting changed, that turned into a crying screaming thing that she is apparently well known for, that made me feel quite bad because I couldn't make it better... She had settled down by the time she was waiting for the bus...


Got some maths books for Cinderella as I feel I should be doing more for her at this point... some revision then get her going on some new work. She works well independently which is a relief. Will have to think out a plan of attack (or even a lesson plan.........) for money, time and a continuation of adding and subtracting.


School photo's coming up soon, bugger.

Friday, February 10, 2006

PPPPPP

Prior

Planning

Prevents

P___ (pathetically, piss, predictably) Circle the word I am most likely to use in this blank.

Poor

Performance


It wasn't really my fault, but it made my life a tad more exciting than I really want to have to deal with a) on a Friday b) on my own. I thought we had a physical program and had no plan as I thought I'd make one up with the physio... it had gone pear shaped last friday too but I was told that was because my physio was away. Turns out, I don't have a physio session then at all... So when the kids were a bit ratty coming in from play I let them loose for a bit thinking we'd pull it back together... To keep them in the classroom and try to get things going in an educational direction (with no help) I had to lock the classroom door top stop them escaping! It was a bit difficult getting anything productive out of the two destructive students because I could only be with one at a time at the tables, but until I have them in chairs they can't tip over when strapped in, I can't line them all up and do a game or story by myself. It was really frustrating that I felt I wasn't teaching productively,especially the two who need the extension work. I felt like I was wasting time. But it happens and I have re-planned my fridays. I will also do an updated needs chart for when I really would like extra help.


What else happened today? The morning went well. We played a cool game about hiding and I managed to slot in some 'values' education with bringing in the Fair Go area with We wait patiently for our turn. Somehow it's also our health area too but I'm not sure how it is supposed to fit yet. After lunch I got some 1 on 1 time with ummm... lets call her Cinderella (coz otherwise in a few months time I won't have a clue who I was talking about when and that will make it really hard to chart progress). We did some math coloring. The the OT brought my other grade one back... lets call her Little Red Ridinghood, coz she's got red hair like me. And I tried to do some work with her whilst Cinders worked independently. Can't do the same things with her because she doesn't have the same motor control of her hands, so cut and paste and write are not things she can do independently. Have to find some math songs and tapes so she can do it visually and verbally. This is way harder than Bloom's... [non teachery types just ignore that last bit, it's about catering to different learning styles blah, blah...].


Picture of my classroom. It's another from my phone. The yellow bit out the door is the courtyard I can let them loose in! Very handy! Also means I can get fresh air in without worrying that they will escape.





I feel like I have so much I want to get done over the weekend for school, but really don't want to think about it too much! One day I will be committed... yes, probably to a loony bin.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

A a


It's not easy work and I have rather a high stress level. However, I am feeling pretty good. I may get the hang of this and when things work it will be very rewarding (When it doesn't, I will want to bang my head against a wall – but who doesn't have that feeling sometimes in a job? - there have been frustrating moments so far but believing change is possible and this is just a beginning makes things more positive... I'm still not 100% comfortable with the behavioural change I am going to have to find a way of making in these kids but know I need to be firm and trouble shoot before they make me really annoyed – coz that won't work the same as it would on kids 10 years older...). The people I work with are great, lots of humour and concern for each other (and me!), which makes it a nice place to be. The leak in my room has been fixed. High 5 seems pretty cool – although I am assured I will hate it by the end of the year! - even if I can't work out who's who just yet. The parents of the preps seem to be getting a grip, if only they could arrive on time it would be great. It really mucks my timing up when they arrive ½ an hour late.


Today we tried to do some literacy stuff that included colouring in. One of my formerly free range kinder kids wanted to draw on the blank side – no interest in annie apple (guess which letter we are starting with!) and after tearing the paper, getting a few stickers on successfully before boredom set in I discovered it you did it, whilst telling them what you are doing i.e. I'll just colour the tree in green for you... suddenly I get “Can I help?” The very small victories feel pretty good. Little steps, little steps. Computers today was great. Sleeping Beauty who doesn't appear to find much interesting was totally engaged. Another small victory no throwing stuff or wandering and she wasn't even buckled into her chair. The two mentioned in this paragraph surprised me by working well and focussing when there wasn't someone beside them – helping or perhaps distracting them. Interesting.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Free range kinder kids

The day didn't start all that well... I found out via a game of chinese whispers that one of the new mums isn't sure she made the right choice of school for her child. The head of junior school tells me this following – it's not a reflection on you... I understand that intellectually, but it's quite hard not to feel it. It just needs time, but it's hard when she won't let go. It makes it harder for her daughter to adjust too. In the end, it's the parents choice and they have the right to doubts.


The Bob the Builder CD has some really dodgy songs on it, even the owner of the CD, Ms 6, says “This is the silly song.”


I love it when kids look at you as if you are completely out of your mind. One of mine asked at lunch who the person sitting on the mat with the toys outside the other classroom was. I said it looked like someone's Dad, but maybe it was a really big new prep from P2. The look on her face with the reply “I don't think so” was priceless!


The literacy program is coming together, but keeping the attention of one of the newies is very hard. We haven't quite worked out how to get through to her and she needs a lot of work with not pulling off people's glasses and not throwing stuff away if she doesn't want it. And her mum wants her to try proper underpants tomorrow not 'pull ups'... she'll send a couple of changes of clothes, but I'm more worried about how accidents will disrupt the class (and make a mess...). I never expected to know this much about my students – no matter what their age!


We tried out the physical program we planned yesterday, it needs some tweaking but it was good to have the right people in the right places and the kids having virtually one on one attention. Had some problems with my Sleeping Beauty needing a nap part way through but we have decided to let her nap, but only for a short period each time so she doesn't miss out on too much.


The afternoon session my two remaining kids got an extra swim and I got extra APT. I got some stuff done, but there is so much to get going at the start of term and all sorts of crap in my classroom from the previous teacher that I don't know whether it is important or not...


An interesting comment from the other prep teachers was made about the difference between kinder and school. It is very structured at school and the kids have to sit and focus for periods of time. At kinder they mostly just roam around and do what want when they want. It is a big change. I should try to to expect too much too soon and keep in mind that my formerly free range kinder kids may be finding the change not to their liking.


Two of the prep parents say that their kids are loving coming to school. One screams when the bus arrives and was disappointed last Saturday that she wasn't going on the bus to school! The other, despite being very tired and apparently not interested, is happy to come to school and babbles excitedly when she gets home. 4/5 ain't bad and in time we'll get no. 5 settled in.




APT: Approved Planning Time (YAY!)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

How was school today?

I don't feel the need to write much today as I had a great day, full on and tiring, as to be expected, but things seem to be coming together. So, I suppose I should write about why it was good (I wouldn't want this to turn into a whiny blog...).


Time with all my kids this morning went quite well. Many were late again – so another late start – but this time I was prepared for it and had less planned... that doesn't sound how I meant it... I planned to do things that would take a shorter amount of time so we had morning tea at the right time, but it was extendible if we had have had more time. We did a fairly abbreviated morning circle, but that was good as I'll want to keep it as a short but regular start to the day when we have other programs up and running.


One of my kids is doing much better now we get her to walk using her kaye walker when we need her to move from, or between, chairs. She gets more position changes, is less fidgety and easier to transfer, not to mention the benefits to her. At recess I spent some time playing with another of my new students. As I knew I had APT next with the kids going to Music and Library sessions, it was well worth putting off the cup of tea and toilet break to spend some time getting to know her doing something fun. We played ball in the semi open courtyard that our classroom backs onto and one of my kids who is mobile and very self directed came out to play ball with us too. The new girl can throw really well and isn't bad at catching if you prompt about where to position her arms. It was also a nice reminder that even if kids don't talk, they might well be listening very carefully.


Got some more stuff sorted out in the way of paperwork and found some good resources for teaching literacy in some random folders that had been left in the classroom. I just need to find some time to spend a while reading them! I am still getting a lot of help from the teacher who is pregnant. It is great to have her get little things done, like printing and laminating, for me whilst I try to get a grip on the big new concepts.


When I took the parents up to the library to pick up the new preps, one of them was conked out asleep on the carpet. She has been really tired every day and struggling at times to stay awake in class. I might need to get a mat and create a quiet corner for naps when she starts full time. Her mum was a bit worried but I reassured her that even some of the kids in the senior school need a nap sometimes. She was relieved. I guess it makes you feel like your kid isn't the odd one out.


I had yard duty second half of lunch. The playground is being refurbished so I was on duty in the courtyard mentioned previously. It was fun, except when I hit my head on the air conditioner that hangs outside my room and into the courtyard... and the kids laughed at me! I played ball with lots of kids and it was good to get to know some of the others around who are not in my class. It would be better if I had a clue what their names were, but that will take time.


In the afternoon with just the two older students, we had a physical program with the physio. We rode bikes up to a new area I hadn't seen before and played on some swings and stairs and balance things and I got to see the trampoline! It was cool except for the ooky water in the pit underneath it. For the physio it was time she could do some assessment before getting to know the new ones and I was just learning what went on in their department and what cool toys they had!


After school we had a meeting that I had only heard about round 15 minutes before it happened. About 5 minutes before I get a phone call... “Hi, Oh and by the way the meeting is in your room and A, B, C, D, E & F will be there soon.” Oh-Kay... The meeting was actually really good. I felt like I didn't really put much in ideas wise, but managed to help with a few observations about the new students. My class has 2 sessions of physical program paired with another class. We worked out groups for these two sessions and who would help where and what sort of stuff they would be doing. It means we have something to go with tomorrow mid morning and programs are taking shape. My team are all young which is a nice change to hanging out with the teachers who are mostly a lot older than me (except my babysitter – but she's pregnant and leaving!). Methinks it's the therapists who go out for a drink on a Friday arvo too...


Don't expect this much on other good days...
Funny thing is I'm still stressed though. But it took nearly 5 weeks on teaching rounds to feel ok, so, this being the real thing (!), I don't really expect to feel settled 'til part way into term 2. I'm sure I'll be fine by the end of this term but then I'll have 2 weeks off and be nervous starting again.....

Monday, February 06, 2006

Wimming with me?


  • Wimming with me?

Yep! I'm swimming with you.

  • Where your bathers?

Over there, see the bag?

  • What colour?

Are my bathers?

  • Yeah.

Black. What colour are yours?

  • Pink!


One of my better conversations with one of my students. Swimming was excellent!* We both enjoyed it. Unfortunately only one of my kids was able to swim. The other's mum had been sick on Friday and couldn't get her to school and so didn't get the message that swimming was definitely starting this week. She told me she had a fun afternoon colouring, so I didn't feel so bad she had missed out. In the pool we did all sorts of fun stuff and the student I was with was happy and confident in the water. We both had fun and it was a great way to get to know my student better and see them in a different environment – rather than in the classroom or in their wheelchair. And she seems to have learnt my name. That was kind of cool.


Today was really full on but I think I need to realise that most days will be like that with these high needs kids. I'm just hoping that the slight patina of panic will fade from the proceedings eventually. Things didn't go to plan today (not that there was much of one to start with) but I should get used to that too... 9am and I didn't have any students! Some had apparently slept as badly as me the night before and struggled with getting up too. So, we started really late and struggled to get through everything before we needed to start morning tea. Morning tea was late, we kind of missed play, then we didn't know what we were doing for the next session, literacy, so we went out into the courtyard for our own play and eventually got a bit of a plan together... One of the aides who helps out a lot in my classroom wasn't in today because she's in hospital with a broken pelvis! This could make things interesting especially with my two very active preps.


On a positive note, we are getting to know the kids better. Our groupings look like the two older students to further their literacy gains from last year, the two more aware? able? interested? advanced? (it's very difficult to find the right words...) together to start learning the alphabet and writing skills and we will need to get the speechie working with us to work on simple communication and choice making with our other student. She's just not at the same spot and has different needs at this stage. The thing I am finding hardest with this student is the need for discipline. She needs a lot of no! Her mum lets her get away with all sorts of grabbing, throwing, hitting that don't appear to be disability related. It will take some time to find ways of saying no to her and encouraging better behaviour. I guess that's teaching too, but not exactly what I had in mind.


Staff meetings are boring.




* Yes, one of the major reasons I wanted to work at this school was the presence of the swimming pool!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Cyber slacking

Compared to my nerves last week, I think the coming Monday is more daunting than the first one as I now start to understand how much I still have to learn!

I am trying to do some stuff for work (time tables, lesson plan type things – programs) but am procrastinating. At least some things never change.

I feel more sick to the stomach now that I see how much work I have to do and how little of my role I comprehend. It churns in my mind and I find it hard to even find the questions to ask that would help me out of this state. I wish I was better at taking things slowly and letting the knowledge come to me over time, but I want it now. It’s not a helpful attitude but how do you change something that seems to be part of who you are?

Now that I have a little understanding of the procedural arrangements of school, my thinking turns to my actual teaching. What am I doing now, what am I going to do next and why am I doing it? What do my students need and what do I need to teach them to meet this need? What goals do they have? I know some of this will be explored in PSG meetings later in the month and with the team I am working with but I feel I should be moving towards that now. It’s hard to know which way to go when you don’t know where you are going. I’ll leave it there, I think, as more questions aren’t really going to help me at this stage and I’m sure I am starting to sound like a pretentious wanker!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Papercuts and turtles

Had technical difficulties posting this last night.

I got a paper cut today, it was inevitable really considering how much of the stuff I pull out of my pigeon hole each day (Why is it called a pigeon hole? When will I get a pigeon?).


I was so tired yesterday evening but my head was going round in circles (not quite like in the exorcist though!) I even ended up dreaming about school, but as that was the first night it had happened, so I think I've been doing pretty well at stress management. Feel much better tonight, swimming in the morning seems to give me more energy at night – weird. As much as I am glad it is the weekend I kind of don't really want to stop the momentum...


Am trying to cover the important things that happened yesterday, but what seemed important yesterday isn't necessarily what seems important today...


I forgot the roll yesterday again and felt bad coz I got paid... and after a couple of years of part time work it felt like heaps... I'm sure once I feel more justified, I won't think it's enough! I forgot the roll 'til last thing today too and I actually had kids away. One at integration and one didn't arrive. So I had three, which you'd think would be easy..............


Oh, yeah, yesterday... my clingy mum actually left and her daughter was fine. She's a bit timid and close to tears sometimes but communicated a lot more with us both verbally and with signs. The other student who isn't very communicative has started using her voice. Yesterday it was just NO, but today she was saying other things, but not so we could quite make sense of it. It's a great start though and something that the speechies can work on. I was told that my two older students were just as quiet when they started and came out of their shells eventually. It gave me hope that as a team we can make a big difference to these new kids. Seeing the change in one week where we haven't even got programs running, seeing how their comfort in the new environment increases makes me think that their potential is huge. It makes me impatient to understand how the school works and get things running and formalised, but today I learnt that this school has it's own time zone, you just have to relax into it and it's better for the kids if you do (or so the physio running the PD arvo said). The specialists are pretty laid back about getting things running, emphasising getting to know the kids first... but I feel like I should be able to justify what I am doing in terms of teaching. I guess, I can, but it's not what I want to be doing, ad hoc, unstructured lessons but being able to run a session by making it up as I go along is better than time doing nothing. They will get something out of it even if I'm not really sure what I wanted it to be... Maybe at this point I am just learning about them so I can know them well enough to plan properly for their development. I certainly learnt a lot about them today!


I had a session that didn't go to plan and it ended up just me and 3 students, including 2 new preps. The preps haven't learnt how they need to behave at school yet, as it appears to be my job to teach them... it is harder than I had anticipated, but uses the same structures as with other people I guess. Set up expectations of certain behaviours and remind, and remind, and remind again and reinforce with positive feedback. You can't really punish 6 year olds like you do a teenager but at least one of them may be able to understand consequences of actions and learn from it i.e. You throw things you will not get them to hold... but then you have to keep giving them chances to practice or learn it... and so you have to keep picking things up from the floor... One of them has a great trick – asking for a drink then holding her drink bottle upside down and squeezing it all over the floor! I hope we can get her out of that idea of a game soon. I'm not sure I like having to manage discipline with small children. As I may have mentioned previously they need to learn how to sit on a chair and stay there... two of my students are strapped with seat belts into chairs when we are doing work. This made life very interesting for me when I was alone today... the two preps I had today were the grab and throw kind whilst attempting to stop one from tipping her chair whist reaching for something just out of her grasp I turned my back on the other... I turn back... she has upended her chair and is crawling to reach the ball she really wanted – with the chair still attached to her! She looked like a turtle or a little pesky snail! Gave me a bit of a fright!!


So week one has passed without major incident. The head of primary told me about her first day of teaching at school today, it involved a student with a fractured skull, an ambulance and her going home in tears thinking her career as a teacher was over before it had begun... Makes my week seem just peachy!


Had PD on meal assistance and lifting this afternoon, as usual, I was well looked after and my one remaining kid was already organised to go somewhere else for the afternoon. The meal assistance was great with practical exercises to experience swallowing whilst concentrating on it and then try it with some of the limited facial muscle movements that the kids have. Very good at getting the point across. It was hard to stay awake during the talking coz I was tired and starving. I wolfed down my lunch in the short break and it was a lot easier to stay awake in the lifting session. There are trainees in – not sure what, disability something – who were at the session and it was interesting to hear a couple of them... - I hope this finishes on time, we finish at 3.15 and the clock watching and commenting (not even quietly) as the time drew near. They are being paid and that is the level of commitment that they have? I guess it happens in every job, and I have done it in some, but I expected more, maybe because of the nature of the work, but that's not really fair... Dunno. People do things for all sorts of reasons and who am I to judge?


Am going to try not to do too much school stuff this weekend but will feel so much better if I do.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

erk

i wrote it.
i lost it somewhere coz i am too tired now to think straight
i am sulking
i really liked what I wrote
be more careful next time

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Day 3

I am being buried by enough paper to have denuded a small forest so far. Administrivia sux.

I forget the roll and I only have 5 kids!

My room leaks when it rains.

I swam this morning and feel much better this evening, far more energy.

I had too much fun this afternoon for it to have been educational :o)


Classroom management in my brave new world means teaching the kids how to sit on a chair, how to wait their turn, when to speak and when to listen... and I spent 2 years imagining I'd be reinforcing this behaviour in teenagers not actually trying to get it to happen in the first place.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Feels right when it's going wrong

Today was very full on.

Trying to get my head around enough of it to write it down is difficult.


This may sound weird but the time today when I felt like a teacher was when I was in front of the class and it was going wrong, not as I expected or in a different directions (I have some very strong willed students). This was a familiar feeling from teaching rounds, where it rarely went to plan or even well, but it was reassuring somehow. Like, I know this feeling and I can learn and make it work, if only occasionally... it's hard to explain but it was a good thing.


There are three main areas I am trying to cope with at the moment. My students (and today their parents), planning (I have no idea what I am doing) and the school (as in “I have yard duty? Now? Really? Sorry. Where was I meant to look for that? Sorry.”).


My students a cute little strangers. They are fine when their parents are out of the room. Hopefully the parents will get that tomorrow... They cried, well really, one of my grade 1s howled setting off a previously unperturbed prep and another who was quite upset already. 3 out of 5 on the first day ain't bad! I'm not so worried about them crying now. Done that. Thankfully, I only really had the morning session with them today as they went to music and library. I met a lot more of my 'team', my physio is lovely and makes me relax – we will plan things together and we have an idea about what we will be doing tomorrow and I met my speechy briefly and she seems nice.


Tomorrow I have someone in who specialises in early years literacy in the morning, so that should go ok and the physio and I have a rough plan for the middle of the day. Then my preps go home and I can spend some time in the afternoon getting to know the other two. The overall plan will evolve and this is apparently normal in this school and I am getting lots of help from the other two prep teachers. They don't want to step on my toes but I need all the help I can get at this stage. I am learning so much already but it seems so fragmented.


I have to go to a meeting with a teacher from the mainstream school one of my kids will go to once a week, before the kid has even started full days, about 30 mins or so from my school, with the AP who organises integration because it is understood I don't know anything yet (and she reckons she'll just have to pretend that she does). It will be an interesting experience!


I got a hug from one of my kids when I said goodbye at lunch time, already!

Yard duty was kind of fun.

Monday, January 30, 2006

My brain hurts: Day 1

So much to take in that I think I must get a fairly shell shocked vacant look when people ask me how I am going... We had meetings in the morning and refreshers in swallowing/feeding from the speech pathologists and a lifting thing with the OT. I will go to a proper lesson on Friday arvo to learn this stuff with the other new staff members and my students will hang out elsewhere, I guess. In the arvo there will only be two to redistribute for a bit as my preps will only come to school for half a day til the 24th of feb. Jeez, PD already!


My room is nowhere near as organised as I would like it to be . There is heaps of junk in it from the previous teacher but as I am not sure what I will need, I am loath to move it out. I have a plan for tomorrow but not much of one (heh – just like my lesson plans for teaching rounds... lots of options, see what works and pretend you meant it that way). I do have to admit that my plan was given to me by the other prep teachers that I will be working closely with. They asked if I had some ideas for what I wanted to do tomorrow... I didn't. So with the assurances that they didn't want to push their ideas onto me and if I wanted to change anything I could etc etc. I have things to do. It also means that the classes are doing similar stuff at the same level and that is a good thing, I reckon, even if it feels like a bit of a cop out.


[I have so got to get over the idea that I should be doing it all myself... and soon!]


My OT is planning to wing it til we find out what the 3 new girls are like so I'm happy with that. We'll work it out when we know what we are getting.


One thing I learnt from today that I am getting is anxious parents! Someone handed me a pink phone message slip from the office as we went to the lifting practice. Already! I asked B2 what I should do and she said she'd handle it for me unless I really wanted to. It was about 10.30am, I wasn't feeling very sure of myself at that point, but felt like a complete wuss all the same. Turns out it probably wasn't something that I could have dealt with on my own anyhow and something even she could give limited advice on as it was the responsibility of someone else to organise integration placements for the kids at mainstream schools. My second phone call came later in the day when I had more of a grip on things but I was still a bit chicken. Anxious parent II wanted to know if it was ok if she came in for a bit at the start of the day as she hadn't met me before (subtext: before I leave my precious baby with you) etc. I reassured her that B1 & B2 whom she had met already would be there in the morning and she would have time to help her daughter settle in. She wanted to know what other parents usually did... so I'm thinking – I dunno, I've never done this before either... what I say is that we will play it by ear depending on how the kids settle in. Actually, a plan has already been made with B1 & B2 about how we are going to deal with the parents tomorrow but no need to tell them we intend to have them out by 9.30... The parent seemed nice on the phone and admitted it was more for her than for her kid. It must be hard to send your babies off to school for the first time and even more so when the child medically/developmentally compromised. It must be very hard to trust them in someone else's hands. I felt like a real teacher then, however, a fleeting emotion...


So, with that in mind what do I tell them tomorrow? My thoughts are that I will be honest that it is my first time too and it will be a learning experience for all of us; parents, students and myself. I will let them know that I will be working closely with B1 & B2 who have the other prep classes and are very experienced... I will be very positive that we will all have a great time and lots of fun together and hope they buy it! I will also be getting lots of help from a teacher who is only at school til easter as she is 5 months pregnant and doesn't have a class of her own. She was great today. I would have been a bit a lot lost today otherwise.


Time to iron a shirt and get an early night... hopefully.


OT: Occupational Therapist
PD: Professional Development

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Breathe and relax... breathe and relax

2 SLEEPS!!!!


I'd love to be able to write about what I am thinking now but to tell the truth, I'm trying really hard not to. Every time even a smidge of a thought about Monday creeps into my head I feel nauseous. Seriously nauseous. My mouth even waters.


So this weekend's major campaign is one of distraction! Anything not to think about it, I'll be better prepared to cope if I'm relaxed and it's not as if it's an exam and I need to cram some answers... it's going to be a really really really really ridiculously big learning experience and if I relax and ask enough questions it will be fine... I should probably iron something to wear though... tomorrow. When distraction is failing badly in the evening...


Pot luck dinner, lots of people and DVDs, tonight distractions!

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Talking Shop & Pathways to Knowledge

This blog is quite free form and I am happy with it's change in direction from my whiny anxieties about starting work to more of an exploration of what it means to be a teacher and questioning who I will be, or become, as a teacher. Very soon it should metamorphose into it's originally anticipated form of me talking about teaching (which will very likely include the above whines and worries too – sorry). Think of the earlier stuff as more the grub before the butterfly...


Just before Xmas I was told that teachers can get really boring to be around because all they think about is their students. As they become overworked and focused on their job, they lose touch with the outside world making them very dull dinner companions. It could be worse though, the company of two teachers inevitably ends up with both talking shop. I replied that it's common of all professions to talk shop to some extent and was told 'No. Teachers are different'.


Perhaps they are. Last night I ended up talking shop with a woman I met briefly about a year ago. It seems that now I am becoming a teacher, I bump into them everywhere (that's even how I ended up with my teaching job) and, of course, when you do, you chat. So what is different about teachers? I think it is the isolating nature of teaching and lack of opportunity to discuss work within work. Sure it is great to be relatively autonomous how do you process your days work? With other responsibilities, yard duties and students interrupting breaks when do you have time to evaluate your work with someone else? Is there an element of hesitation involved with exposing what may be perceived as weaknesses within your own school environment? I'd like to live in my happy land of naïvety a little longer and think it's the former, rather than think teachers would not help each other to learn and grow in their profession. You can slag off management and colleagues with like minded co-workers at the pub after school but venting is not really the same and evaluating and exchanging ideas. Blogging is a great modern way of overcoming this, with the opportunity to explore your own teaching as a blogger (and safely vent...) and get ideas and reassurance from other bloggers in similar situations. Will blogging prevent the onset of boring?


The shop talk last night covered what it means be an educator, disability, and how pathways of knowledge are valued (Which pretty much says – yes, you are boring already). She teaches disability in a TAFE and confirmed one of my biggest worries about becoming a teacher – attachment to students. I think this is going to be a really hard aspect of teaching for me to deal with and establish some professional detachment. One of the reasons I never wanted to teach primary kids was because I like them too much, but found when I was on rounds that I care as much about teenagers – they just aren't as cute! I was told last year that adult learners capture your affection just as much. Last night confirmed it. She teaches adults who are often very much older than her and is still concerned for them as much as she would be for a younger student. All students are needing something from you and that must be taken into account whether they are 5 or 50.


I told her that I was concerned that I didn't really understand what disability as a construct really means to my students. It affects every part of their lives and many of their meanings in learning will be constructed though this filter. I'm probably thinking too far ahead, but once I get the hang of the basics of this job I am going to need to do some specialist study - assuming I like this area of education. If I head back to uni, I would be doing a post grad certificate in special ed that would lead straight into a diploma or further to a Masters. This would be giving me an understanding of educating students with special needs and inclusive education but focuses my knowledge into how to educate rather than giving me a broader understanding of the concept of disability. A couple of people I have met recently have advised me to do a certificate IV in disability at a TAFE to get a broader understanding. I find it odd though, that this would be considered a strange pathway for me to take. I don't understand why university education is valued so much above more practical pathways in learning. It's all good, right? Why be snobs about it? It will be interesting to work out what seems most valuable and convenient in a year or so...


TAFE: Technical And Further Education

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Contraption!

You'll have to read the previous 2 posts to understand the significance of getting this pic up here. Don't know if it was disabling the fire wall or changing the image to JPEG that did it. It was more frustration than scientific enquiry, so I'll probably have to experiment properly next time. Ah, learning! It never really stops does it? I must be well sucked into this 'being' a teacher to think that's a happy thought!

Early thoughts on disability

I don't turn on the telly that much but happened upon a great show on Channel 31 called No Limits (Monday 7.30pm). It's about disability related issues and products. It was great to see what disabled adults are thinking and getting up to and gives me more of an idea about futures that are possible for my students.


The world of disability is a strange one to be entering without one. A real outsider's perspective. The last few weeks with the contraption (which you will see I haven't managed to get up the picture of yet... or not see...) has given me a small glimpse of how difficult the construction of the physical world can be when faced with only a minor mobility issue. I am having trouble with steps where there is nothing to hang on to in order to steady myself. Imagine it in a wheelchair, with limited upper limb movement... If everything was built accessible it would make everyone's lives easier, even if only for a brief period in their lives.


It makes me wonder. How do I understand the world my students live in? I guess any kid has a radically different perspective on the world to a teacher who may be much older or have a different background, how do any of us understand their world? What will this mean to the interactions and relationship I develop with them?

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Turned a corner… or going round the bend?

Feeling much more positive today, I was able to start swimming again and the difference it has made to my state of mind is amazing. For me swimming is like moving meditation. I can let everything move through my mind without any physical manifestation of stress. Exercise has been a bit difficult of late as I have a stress fracture in my foot. Am going to add a pic to this entry to record the contraption I have had attached to my foot for the last 7 weeks (and to work out how the pic thing happens). It was taken with my phone and rotated, so it will look at bit strange. It's not easy to take a photo of your own foot.

I will have the contraption (otherwise known as a cam walker) on for about half the day by the time I start work and my Dr wants me to have it on if I am walking around a lot at work. The school already knows about it as I had it on when I went to the end of year concert in December and apparently it has happened before with one teacher starting there as the swimming and sports teacher with thigh to toe plaster! If nothing else, I guess it will be a good conversation starter in the staff room. I can’t walk very fast with it on so I’m lucky the school is totally set up for disabled access and my students wont move too fast either! I’d hate to have this on starting at a great big high school somewhere. Trying to move through packed corridors with kids you don’t know and get to classrooms at the other end of the school…

I am actually starting to smile when I think about my new job. A very good sign! I am much more confident today that it will all be ok. They know I will ask a lot of questions and are expecting me to do so. I am a proactive person and will be able to find things out… I get a classroom to stay in – I can put up posters and have a plant (perhaps) and have lots of cool and stimulating stuff around me. That’s got to be heaps better than moving around classrooms that are dull and functional. I have almost remembered all my kids names, I will just have to put faces to them.

Have decided that I will try to get my shit together this week and get all organised and do all the little things that need doing so then next week I can deliberately go out and enjoy myself. Go to galleries, go to the beach, catch up with mates, see the big squid thing at the aquarium (maybe – I might wait til I get my VIT card for some stuff coz then it will be free – who would have thought that there would be perks to being a teacher… apart from the holidays!), eat, drink, be merry! Before I am busy, exhausted and overwhelmed!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Things that make you go hmm?

I went back through my uni readings on disability and inclusive ed and was surprised that a) it was very useful and b) I couldn't remember reading it, nor writing a reflective 1000 word essay on the topic. That worries me. I know I wasn't particularly interested in doing the subject as I didn't feel it was teaching me anything I couldn't do already. Ed Contexts was basic sociology of education. Having done sociology before, and finding that the issues in health and education are very very similar (access, appropriateness, funding, discrimination, propagation of social inequities, blah, blah, etc. etc.), I really wanted to learn how to teach, not spend time on something I felt I could already do. Doing things part time over two years apparently has interesting effects on my memory...


When I read the essay now, it makes an interesting contrast – or even a point making a continuum - with my second teaching round, in a school in a very high socio-economic with heaps of money and very few of the underlying problems, and where I am about to teach, at the far end of the disability scale.


According to the computer I finished this on September 24th , 2004. Looks like it was just in time to catch the last mail... It's not a great piece of academic writing and as expected, got the mark it deserved. I don't like referencing when I'm writing reflectively. I would write it differently now, having at least learnt that I need to go back and insert comments from relevant readings after the main body is written. Academics like references, it shows you have been paying attention..........



Reflection on an issue in teaching

Disability and education.


During my teaching round many of the issues covered were topical at one time or another, however, one issue had an effect in every class: disability. A large number of students at this school were considered ‘integration’ students and provided with extra assistance. The way this issue was handled varied and consequently the educational impact on the ‘integration’ students, teachers, aides and other students varied also.


Most of the classes I was involved with on my teaching rounds had at least 2, up to 4 integration students. There were frequently aides present in classes to assist these students. Initially when observing classes I had trouble distinguishing which were the ‘integration’ students, as many students seemed to have behavioural or learning difficulties. Students came to the school with many factors impinging on their ability to learn such as low socioeconomic status, English as a second language, cultural differences, low literacy and numeracy standards and a lack of support at home where little value was placed on education.

Chatting with the aides I found out that all students were tested on entering the school but some borderline cases did not make the ‘magic mark’ that would allow extra funding for aides. This situation was recognised within the school and aides would often help not only ‘their’ students, but also others in the class who were struggling as well. As the aides were not attached to any one student this seemed to decrease the stigma attached to being an ‘integration’ student. Unfortunately the number of aides and the students requiring help did not quite match and often aides could only stay for half the class so they could move between a couple of classes depending on the needs of that class. During observations on rounds I was frequently asked if I could keep an eye on/assist the integration students so the aide could help in another class.


This was a great opportunity to interact closely with these students and see the many and varied barriers they faced in an ordinary class. Behavioural issues often meant that students lacked the skills at interaction needed to seek help when they didn’t understand, especially at the beginning of a task. Those with learning difficulties required a lot of support to attempt tasks even when an inclusive environment was provided. However, like all students there were good days behaviourally and tasks that suited their interests and abilities better than others.


Inclusive teaching was recognized by the aides as being a complex task for teachers, but one that made a big difference to ‘their’ students. My supervisor was of the opinion that if primary school teachers were routinely expected to teach different stages and abilities there was no reason secondary teachers shouldn’t be expected to do the same. To create an inclusive class environment the presentation of material was varied, not just talk and chalk to introduce topics. With language, literacy and motivation being big issues in this school he took as many opportunities as possible to give the students a range of choices in what tasks they had to complete. Sometimes this was done with a few, often 4 activities put up on the board and the students told they must complete at least 2 before the end of class. The activities were usually a mix of questions, practical work, creative, research or diagram/drawings. For an entire topic these may have been written into a grid with topics on one axis and types of activities on the other. There were restrictions – there must be one or two from each topic and/or learning style and marks were weighted according to difficulty or importance. Students could then choose to do many easy, small tasks for the same amount of marks as a few larger or harder activities or concentrate in the learning styles they felt most comfortable with. This gave all students achievable goals while allowing brighter students to extend their scope.


In the literature there was discussion of the disadvantages of running pull out programs when trying to create an inclusive environment. At this school, pull out programs were common across the school for not only integration, but also literacy, numeracy, ESL, sport, and while I was there also the school play and a reward trip for the students with no demerit points. Whilst this created a fair bit of disruption, it meant most students were doing something outside class at some stage so there was no stigma in being taken out of class for a bit.


Handling behavioural disabilities is easier with an aide present but having the same expectations for all your students and enforcing fair and consistent rules outweighed other factors. Behavioural problems in teenage years are common even in so called ‘normal’ students. It still has an effect on learning and class function when you have a girl in tears because her boyfriend dumped her at lunchtime and her friends are trying to comfort her or grumpy, confrontational boys with problems at home or in the play ground.


Evaluation was something I found to be a difficultly when teaching students with learning difficulties. There were many opinions amongst staff as to the best way of assessing their content knowledge and understanding. Formal testing can give an indication of how they are doing in comparison to other students but may not be a true reflection of their understanding. The chance to have an aide explain or reword the questions and the student to talk aloud their answers in a separate room made quite a difference in results for an end of topic test I gave the students. Talking to the aides about what was working for the students and how they were getting on with the subject matter made informal assessment far easier than for other students.


After being at this school I can’t see the value of the integration over an inclusion model. Sure it may be more work for the teacher but all students seem to respond to an increase in variety, choice and opportunity to use different learning methods. A positive and inclusive learning environment may have a positive impact on the educational outcomes of all students in the class.


P.S. 15 more sleeps! ...or 14 with the prediction of nervous insomnia the night before I start!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

It could be worse...

I could be stressing about having to teach 20+ unruly teenagers in disconnected segments throughout the week, having to re learn heaps of science I forgot years ago or never really understood when I was at high school (or just never got to learn, like most principles of physics), or worse, i could have a senior class who believe their whole future rests on their final two years. I would most likely be terrified of having to teach a subject I had an average understanding of but no love for – as I most probably would have got a job teaching math and science.


I don't understand the planning sheet for using with unit development. I have spent a lot of my time in the dip ed trying to get an understanding of lesson planning and how to construct sequential learning experiences, trying to find a method I was comfortable that wasn't completely ad hoc and I get something completely different when I actually find a job I want. Typical. If I was Alanis Morissette, I would probably say it was ironic.


The whole CSF/VELS thing, I read it, I understand the words and ideas, how it is going to apply to me in the real world with the students I have, NFI. At this school some of the 'Domains' are taught as 'integrated studies' topics that create a theme for your learning for the term. So in science at level 1 we do pets apparently. I got a sheet with all the topics and levels for this year. It looks really boring. The level 1 and 2 stuff I can't see anything in, but I also can't remember what things tiny little kids need to learn at school! I also have no idea about what tiny little kids need in the way of class room management (new warm fuzzy words for rules and discipline). Teenagers actually make sense to me when compared with 6 year olds! I have some understanding of what they need... maybe I need to find a book or something on primary level classrooms.


Am reading all the info I have been sent or acquired about the school. I just noticed a lovely line in the letter from the two teachers I will be working with, not only will they be free to help me on my first day with the kids, but “We will also organise the rest of the week's activities with you.” That's a relief. Today, the way I am thinking is that they hired me knowing that I had NFI about this kind of teaching, they hired me for enthusiasm not experience. And from conversations with the teacher there, it seems a lot of them started out that way.


Looking at my draft timetable, it looks like I only have 4 sessions that I need to fill up, I can do that. 4 - that's only the equivalent of a day and the bit before morning recess.


To end on a positive note, I only have to learn 5 kids names! That is so much more achievable than +100, including the quiet kid who never says anything and you haven't got a clue who they are for most of first term...


Today's Acronyms:

CSF – Curriculum Standards and Framework

VELS – Victorian Essential Learning Standards

NFI – No Idea

Friday, January 13, 2006

Intermittent panic

I must have lost count of how many sleeps were left because when I realised I had only this weekend and 2 full weeks left before I start teaching I get a wee small sensation of rising panic. Oh crap, here it comes again. Breathe, relax, breathe....


I feel woefully under prepared. It would be easy to blame this on the fact that I decided to do something a little different and go and teach 6 year olds at a special school after training as a secondary teacher but I suspect I would be feeling this way anyhow right now. I think it really needs drumming into you through a dip ed that what you are getting is the equivalent of a a road map (and I'm not talking something as comprehensive as a Melway – more like sketched on the back of an old envelope that was the first thing to hand and has a coffee stain and... nevermind.) something that will give you an idea of how to get to your destination without too much difficulty but gives you very little idea of what it is going to be like when you get there and what you really need to be getting a grip on.


I have been lucky in that doing my dip ed part time I met people in my first year who then went out and taught whilst I was finishing another year... They have great ideas about what you really need to find out about on teaching rounds and from your lecturers. It has very little to do with the theory of education . That said, I have this huge urge to get out readings from the week we did on special/inclusive education in a subject called ed contexts, (i think?) and find myself a pile of readings. Unfortunately, this is, I suspect, a coping mechanism developed over waaaaay too many years at university and it probably wont help me feel any more prepared here. I wish I felt brave enough just to wing it. That's my usual way of doing things, on instinct and relying on natural ability to get me through, but this is actually important to me and I feel I should give it more. Not sure which is the right approach to take. The former will not stop the rising panic...


Distractions, must find me some distractions....

I will make fruit salad!


Monday, January 09, 2006

Scraps (or Early Thoughts)

I said I'd put this up, so here it is... assorted bits of emails I sent when I was first looking into this job. A lot of them may seem familiar to various people and for that I apologise. I cut and paste a lot of my emails when I want to tell lots of people stuff but slightly differently and that's another reason (justification?) for the creation of the blog. You'll all know everyone is getting the same thing and it doesn't seem quite as rude as a group email....


Actually, rereading this stuff has made me feel far more positive than I was when I put up the other post this evening. I can remember why I was excited!


*****

Have organised to go on a school tour tomorrow at the Special school. The woman I met at the weekend talked to the Assistant Principal and she suggested coming on the tour that is run weekly for potential volunteers and that it would give me a good over view of the place and then I would probably know whether it was for me or not...

*****

At the moment I'm trying to think it through and can't be sure whether the positives outweigh the negatives. It sounds like a really creative teaching environment with lots of support available and the chance to feel like you are really making a difference to individual student's lives in a more concrete fashion than with able kids... Less conforming to uniform and other irrelevant standards found in schools, less prep work, marking and stress... Able to be involved in more aspects of personal and physical development of the individual... Possibility of pursuing special ed academically with an Ma...

On the down side, I wonder if I'd get too emotionally attached to kids with poor potential life outcomes... If I start in special ed am I cutting off possibilities in other schools as I wont have the experience in an average classroom? I need to find out where the students go after school - are they institutionalised or is there a continuation of the rich experiences provided by schooling?

Dunno, dunno... And my thoughts are just chasing round in circles when I have too much other stuff to do!


*****

it were grouse! am definately goign to apply for a job there...

*****

Went for a tour and a chat with the APs at the Special School yesterday. It was great. They have a fantastic school culture of supporting life long learning and are really open about the problems in dealing with special kids and the support available. Will have to get my bum into gear and work out this online recruitment process and come up with some decent sounding answers to the key selection criteria as applications close on Monday!

I will be applying for other jobs too, but I think I really want this one. It's going to be head first into the deep end wherever I start (and at least they have a pool! ;o).

*****

Apparently there is no longer a qualification for teaching special ed and the school is very supportive of grad teachers. I went out last week to visit and had a tour of the school and a chat with the APs. The school was great. The kids are very high need physically and the teaching style is more like primary teaching but in very small classes and a team environment with Physio's, OTs, Speech therapists, volunteers etc. The school seems to fit well with what I believe teaching should be and has a really holistic approach to student development.

*****

Met a woman the other week who works at a special school, went out for a visit to the school and it was fantastic! Have applied for a job there and am really hoping to get one of the 4 jobs going! Applications close today so I hope to hear something this week.... am soooo nervous!

*****

I hope I get the job too. I don't get very excited about much stuff, life just happens but I really want this and its making me feel very strange... Mostly terrified that I'll be disappointed!

*****



T minus 21 Days and counting... But who's counting?

8 days left of my shit kicker, paper shuffling admin support job, which I will probably miss immensely, if only for the good company and campus lifestyle (no more beer and bands at lunchtime...). Today in an email I said I was bored and I'm trying to hang on to that thought. To the thought that I really want and need the stimulation and learning experiences this new job will give me.


...and only 20 sleeps! Technically this is one night less than sleeps expected but I can't see me sleeping much the day before I start. In fact I have it on good authority from the head of the junior school that no matter how long you teach, you never sleep well the day before school goes back... is that meant to be reassuring or not?


With the new year has come a crisis of confidence... can't say I'm very happy about it either. Where did the excitement go? Where is the sense of a grand adventure, a new beginning? I know I had these things a while ago when I was thinking 'Yeah, I can do this, and better still its going to be heaps of fun!' I still have time to find it again, I guess.


So what am I worrying about (other than 'normal' performance anxiety)?


  • I've never done a monday to friday, normal hours type job before...


  • I have never like defining myself by my occupation but teaching seems to be the kind of job where that's what you are. A teacher. Some people are, they teach unconsciously in what ever situation they are in and bring the joy of new knowledge and experiences to everything they do. Not all of these people even work as teachers, but some do and that's something to be thankful for. In more 'primitive' cultures people with wisdom, knowledge and the ability to share it were revered and respected, what they did was who they were. As much as I hope teaching will not just be a 'job' for me, I don't think I will ever see myself as wholly or solely a teacher.


  • How long will it take for me to become jaded and bitter? I know that this is a crap thing to be thinking about before I start but friends who are teachers seem to think it is inevitable. I don't think teaching in a special school will be as bad as a high school for sapping my enthusiasm and energy with it's structure and rules, but maybe there are worse things when you are dealing with kids who have a lot of physical, developmental, cognitive and medical problems... That's a wait and see issue. I'd like to be naïve and optimistic for a little while at least. Not that I reckon much of that is coming through into my writing here.


  • Any blogs I have found by education students or teachers other than those at university level seem to go for about a week to a month. If I get too busy or overwhelmed to continue with this then I suspect it should be the least of my worries!


  • What if I make them cry?


  • What if I can't actually teach them and they make no progress? A mate who's a teacher said at least with preps there is another 12 years of different teachers to take the blame in the future... but that's not going to help me get it right is it?



Off to go looking for my missing mojo!